Journey Beyond Survival

by pink fingerprint I've been struggling to replace one part of my team.  The drug prescription part of it.  It struck me that in spite of my mental health education and google savvy I still have struggles getting what I need and want out of the mental health system. Six weeks of research, insurance, doctor calls and referrals and I still don't have a person with a prescription pad to call mine. ( update, I do now! ) So, I decided to write a post about it.  Not being 'normal' I do the next best thing.  I normalize. prioritize needs gender, specialty,  diagnosis, talk, insurance, cost See the link above for a post about what each need can mean for who you want in your corner. start small So, we're deciding between talking and medicating.  Not sure? See link above or go with talking and a therapist.  They are compassionate and do not usually have the highest price tag in the bunch.  A good therapist will guide a patient to other needed...

I had the longest day yesterday, and I'm off again.  We have therapy, then a church thing called Visiting Teaching, and thank goodness Chickadee doesn't have school.  Because I sure thought she did. I hope you all have a great day, and enjoy the video!  I found it on Dooce and I'm kind of a nerd so... Nature by Numbers from Cristóbal Vila on Vimeo . (smaller is better, I always have a hard time with the buffering on this)

photo by Akiko@Flickr I saw a few really good ideas to keep my belly from growing.  Stem the tide.  Reinforce the dike. I have a million more stupid analogies.  I'm moving on though.  I promise. I drive a lot. We live in a small town.  I've done the math and being reinforced by other Rett Moms, we have our mathematical solution.  I need 23 hours in a day to do all the therapies, potty breaks, reading books, bath times, wardrobe changes (3+), 4 bottles, 3 pump feeds in the night, and play.  Plus I need to sleep.  I can eat at the same time as the kids and even cook magically, but definitely not sleep and get everything done. I don't exactly have time to pack myself lunches yet.  Someday I'll be that superhero.  Someday someday soooomedaaaaaay. But.  Until that time there is this: 37  HEALTHIEST RESTAURANT BREAKDOWN For those freakish days when I do get to be June Cleaver there is this: PARENTSDISH TOP 20 COOK...

It feels like I've become a detached voice, writing but not feeling on this blog.  I'm living a lot of things that don't fit neatly into my bloggable ownership file. Even now, I've spent an hour with this tab open to write a new post and I've done absolutely everything else possible.  For once I can't put a finger on what I'm feeling.  I don't fit into any definable box. On one hand, I'm spending an hour in therapy with Chickadee and another hour round trip three times a week. Mr. Survival is fighting off unemployment blues. We cannot shake things up and have me go to work. I'm not going to go to FitBloggin'11 . But, on the other hand, Chickadee is STANDING in the stander for minutes instead of seconds! Chickadee is grasping things momentarily for the first time in eighteen months. I'm so in love with Mr. Survival it's unbelievable. We are tighter as a family than we ever have been. I'm stressed and frustrated.  I...

I've learned that community is the difference between surviving and thriving!  From Chickadee's dog  to the quiet support of showing up day after day and putting some words down at the bottom of the page for me to read and smile at. I've learned that bloggers are some of the nicest, most considerate people I've never met.  We live our lives, love our lives, and share out lives.  We know what is important to us.  I know you care.  I will forever be amazed at the lovely people beyond the digital screen all around the world.  How we build networks of beautiful connections.  Connections that sustain us, bless us, and help us to thrive. I've learned that bumps and bruises never stop happening, especially while learning.  I've learned that I tend to sit and sulk a while, sucking my thumb.  I've also learned that while it isn't my "ideal" response, sulking is definitely a valid response.  When I treat myself as I would tell a stranger...

Day 1 Radio silence. Phone is dead. Day 2 Chickadee had physical therapy.  Lots of compliments. I waited an hour, and gesticulated wildly for an hour.  I got my phone replaced. Chickadee was an absolute angel. Day 3 Whip kids into shape so they will whip the house into shape. Two bathrooms cleaned.  Bedroom tidied. No dishes done.  No picking up after kids. Mr. Survival too busy to talk. Day 4 Miss complains that I won't entertain our friends we see. Miss learns that a fairy isn't actually putting away after her. Sprout loses Browny the guinea pig  and is scared to tell me.  Mr. Survival travels to where there is no reception.   Day 5 I'm wilting. Chickadee has therapy.  Therapist could tell ZIP therapy happened. I use this FUN grocery shopping/couponing widget to make my list. I cry a little at night. (okay, a lot) Mr. Survival stuck wiring a house for  his mother.  Day 6 Preschool for Chickadee. ...

*my sisters {married in or otherwise stuck with me} and my mom are fabulous.  We keep in touch with an online private journal. I found myself updating with some things that I thought might be amusing. Who am I kidding, I want to make more people laugh with my corny jokes.* I’m happy to report that the visit to the Rett Syndrome Natural History Study went much better this time.  I think it had something to do with the fact that I broke my iphone and had to take books to entertain Chickadee.  Wouldn’t you know she chose the Cinderella book with dress-up veil and gloves attached? It’s hard to think that a girl happily absorbed in her book and enthusiastically interacting with anyone commenting about her book was “uninterested in her world” like they said last time.  Plus a few props like a veil and elbow gloves never hurt to make a pink wheelchair occupant even more adorable.  She finds strangers so much more relatable when they're addressing her as Princes...

photo by rwangsa Chickadee has a new song. It all started when she hit me over the head. No? You're not gonna believe that? Oh, right. I've informed everyone too too well of her abilities. Shame. Well, I suppose it was my fault then. I was carrying Chickadee on one hip and our travel toiletries were on the floor. I needed something. I'm sure it was vitally important, but I have no idea what it was now. I bent down sideways. You know. The way that my mom taught me to bend over modestly in a dress. Chickadee doesn't like the blood rushing to her head suddenly and feeling like she's going to fall to the floor. With counseling, we've reach the modesty agreement. This time, it wasn't a good plan. The toilet was right in front of me, and my cell phone hit my hip and worked it's way up and out of my pocket. Well, you know the rest of the story .  I am so glad we have a warranty, and the lady was super nice enough to give us a new phone. ...

I don't have money for a gym. I don't have money for a trainer. I like routine. What do you think? Anybody else out there in the same boat? I'm thinking about this workout called 30 Minutes to a Sleek Physique. What are your thoughts? My favorite part is that I can do it anywhere. Reminds me of my friend MizFit . *I wrote this before she made her big announcement yesterday.  She has her own!  My Trainer Fitness  doesn't need a computer, and goes anywhere without internet or electricity! Genius.  Pre-order now.

Do you  Stumble ? I just started. I've found lots of great things, like free camping sites and trails in my community. It's another fantastic way to waste time. So many dazzling new stones to stumble over the Internet with.  However, there is an actual application for it.  Instead of Googling, Stumble helps me find blogs I might like, or even fitness routines. I stumbled upon site  that was enlightening. The video is twenty minutes long. The two pearls that I gleaned from it were: The conductor who was speaking said, "When I was 45 I discovered the conductor never makes a sound. His picture is on the cover of the album. He is highly trained. But he never makes a sound. His sole role is to bring out the power in others." He also said, "Who am I being that my loved one's eyes are[n't] shining?" It resonated so much. Before.  I like to think of it as a proper noun:  Before.  Before I was a person who found it effortless to think of others. ...

Quick, someone tell me I don't have time to garden like this. I just can't resist the thought of wee faerie's and gnomes having tea with the toads in my garden. Want to see more? I know you do ... go HERE .

A while ago we had a dinner party. I use a dinner party as an excuse to make a dessert. There is a theory behind my madness.  Isn't there always?  See, not only are there more people to eat the dessert, but there are also more people that might take some home with them.  I'm usually left with a tiny bit of leftovers that my family and I fight over. It's better for my hips that way. I popped the butter into the pan, then pulled out the cocoa.  Just for kicks, I said to Mr. Survival, "Miss THANG is going to pop out of her time-out and ask when she's finished in three minutes." He laughed. I've noticed that I can never make any chocolate goodie without her sniffing me out.  Not even with my mastermind emotional eating prowess skills.  It's family tradition.  I used to be able to sneak a cookie while talking to my mom who was in the room with me! But those skills are nothing against my daughter. My daughter and melted chocolate. True to...

Photo by decorology It dropped out of my front pocket and straight down to the deepest part of the bowl. Quick, clean, and impossible to catch. I think it was the bubble that awoke my synapses. The single large bubble that spelled out to my shocked brain, "C-I-R-C-U-I-T" and "W-E-T" and I sprang into action. Two seconds tops. But, having had experience with a 'slightly' wet phone I knew what it meant. See, someone had told me that they slip their iphone into their sports bra while running. I'm warning you, this is an alien plot to expose those of us not yet infiltrated. Either that or I've been identified as hosting an extrasweatacular parasite. Could be either. So, my business associate and I had a harder than usual time communicating. I was excited to see her, because we get along better than most.  We finally caught up over email. I drove twelve hours to get here, and while there is a bit of family to see I needed to get a fe...

Drove all day yesterday. Where would you go if you could? Dream big.