Journey Beyond Survival

I got 14 miles last week.  I did my abs twice.  I think that's pretty darn good. It was a hard hard week.  I didn't meet my goals.  But I'm not disappointed.  It took every bit of discipline I had to get those miles in.  It is times like these when Chickadee's situation combines with normal life stressors when I am excessively proud of myself for hanging on and ploughing through. It is tough to get up and out of bed some days, especially when Chickadee throws late night parties two or three times a week.  Or when she gets sick and keeps me worried all night.  Most of all when Hubbend throws me a fabulous birthday party half the night away.  Just my style. This week I wish to shoot for the moon as well. Twenty miles and 3 sessions on my abs.  It's gonna be another tough week, but I'll do my best. Tell me about you!  What was your accomplishment for last week?  What is your plan for this week? *photo by Lawrence Whittemo...

Summertime is upon us. Somehow I thought getting home from vacation would mean the beginning of life perfection. I ignored that miss THANG is out of summer school, Chickadee's therapists are circling ever tighter as she reaches discharge age, and life just continues to complicate itself. I've been thinking about it for a long time. Almost the entire time that I've been blogging in fact. I need more balance to help with this crazy schedule. Jenn at Watch my Butt Shrink gave me the idea. I will only blog/write/tweet when Hubbend is at work. I will write my blog in time to post it in the morning. I will read and comment last, so that I can keep up with my writing I will put my health first, mentally, physically, emotionally I will put my family next and let nothing interfere. I've been putting it off for a long time, and hadn't wanted to. But, for the next month I will have to keep up with my family and put them before my blogging. So, I will try to g...

It has officially been six months. This goal is halfway over. How am I doing? Well, I thought perhaps we could take a good look at what my goals were. My Goals are as follows: -Run 5 times a week  Does exercise in general count? Cause I'm exercising 3-4 times a week. I was doing 6 times a week before Chickadee's latest regression -Run @ 6.0 mph  Um. I'm back to jogging for the first time in weeks at 5.0 I was doing 5.7 before her regression -Run 20 miles per week  I was getting 20 miles in. Now I'm getting in a steady 11 to 13 miles. Even if it was walking, it's nothing to sneeze at. -Eat only at 3 meals and 2 snacks Done. -Eat only in the kitchen  Getting a leetle slack on that one. We like to eat on movie nights in front of the computer. Stop sniggering at me, it's a 27" screen. It sounds so weird though, doesn't it? -One helping Done. -One treat a day (eventually phase out to complete 52# goal)  Done. Includi...

-photo by everyeskimo- Current weight: 205.4 lb. Difference: -2.6 lb. BMI: 28.6 Difference: -0.4 % body fat: 30.27% Difference: -1.73% I'm a little skeptical. Because I've been 207 all week except Monday and Tuesday which are my historic low days. I'm ecstatic to see the number, but I have trust issues with this scale. However, it must have reformed because no matter how much time I've given it between weighs it is exactly the same. I generally don't drop quickly and maintain it. My weight sort of spirals downward with highs and lows trending less but fluctuating 2-3 pounds. I'm hedging my bets aren't I? Well, there we have it and I'm gonna do my best to beat it next week. I'm 205.4!! Woo-hoo! goal I've been rethinking my goals. I want to break down my current goals, and make them more achievable. Or punch up some of my other goals and get more motivated and driven by them. I was listening to this last night: Setting Goals It really h...

I've gotten to my 20 miles in a week goal. That means that I will easily make my 500 miles in 2010 goal. As long as I don't get injured or something. All I have to get is 10 miles a week and I would have 520 miles. So, the more weeks I get 20 miles the better off I will be. Hooray! My next goal is to be able to run @ 6.0 mph for 30 minutes. If I increase by 0.1 mph every week I should be there in 6 weeks. Anyway, I've been reflecting on how these goals have really helped me complete my exercise goals without any debate in the morning. Even on the weekends or when crazy unpredictable life moments happen. Now, if only I could motivate myself to reach some of my own stronger goals. I do my best when I'm out to beat myself. I get a thrill out of doing better than before. I love to record my stats over a long period of time, and then review them. This is why I love dailymile . It has pretty graphs that track my distance, intensity, speed, etc. It also taunts...

* We just picked up Chickadee's glasses today. They are the most adorable things. Like a doll's. At my house, this makes them dangerous. Mean mommy surfaced out of the murk and snarled, "NO TOUCHING!" or "I DON'T CARE IF SHE'S PULLED THEM DOWN TO HER NOSE." Miss THANG and Beansprout think those glasses are so cool. Chickadee does too. When she has attention or she has something really fascinating to watch afar and realize that she can see it. All other times- not so much. We spent the afternoon watching movies to get used to it, then removing them as quickly as we could before the meltdown window closed. It wasn't pretty. It's different. It's a change. They slide down her nose and Mommy got that really annoying elastic band around the back of the neck. Those times she doesn't CARE that they make her look 'gorgeous' and she can see the detail of the PB Beansprout left on the wall. But this got me thinking. My wei...

I did not forget my weigh in! You probably did, but I didn't. I posted last week that I might need a new scale. Funny thing is, I wasn't being sarcastic. Here are my weigh in numbers over four hours: 214.6 *eeek* went potty 212.8 ate breakfast 210.9 exercised 1 hour 211.6 *hovered there rest of day* So, even though my numbers evened out around 211, I have an unpleasant circumstance. How much do I weigh? Did I lose any weight? Just how much have I lost? I've decided that I'm going to give myself the benefit of the doubt and say I did get to 210.6. I'm obviously hovering around there with the stress of the hospital trip, TOM, and the anniversary. Stress=distracted. That is bad for the scale. Oh well. I'm actually celebrating. Why? I have TWO NonScale Victories. ONE: I went from 13 miles last week to 19.86 miles this week. Woo-Hoo. One of my GOALS was to run 20 miles a week. Another was to run 5 times a week. Well, next week, I'm gonna get tha...

*little girl from flickr unrelated to me* My life is wobbling. My schedule is out of balance. I'm dropping plates instead of keeping them spinning high above me. My pot is beyond wiggling on the wheel. The pot is woefully peanut shaped! With Chickadee's perpetual appointments, the rest of my family's dental care (and it's health equivalents), real estate machinations, and various recreational *gasp* appointments, I don't have time. But, I have been creating time out of thin air and blogging with a side of exercise. I should really give lectures on space-time curvature. Every mother should. Looking around my house, I have a question for all my fellow bloggers. What kind of scheduling magicians are you? I mean, for goodness sake, the sheets on my Beansprout's bed don't even remember their expiration date! Don't even talk to me about the mopping the floors or vacuuming. It was before the hospital that it got done. I know that I am recovering from ...

I am under no delusions that this will be the last and final hurrah in my battle with weight. I’m not even mad at the self that got me this way. I can’t believe I made it through the past two years without losing it mentally again. I want to learn a way to cope, even through trauma like that, that will keep me healthy. So by following the PLAN I will get: -natural remedy for the slightly depressed results of lithium -regain strong self-confidence -talk out problems instead of eating emotions -feel better each day -end weight of 175 lbs. -BMI of 24 -wear size 12ish

My Goals are as follows: -Run 5 times a week  -Run @ 6.0 mph  -Run 20 miles per week  -Eat only at 3 meals and 2 snacks -Eat only in the kitchen  -One helping -One treat a day (eventually phase out to complete 52# goal)  -Eat fruits or veggies for snacks  -Maintain weight loss -Get’er done by January 1, 2011  -Blog each day on how I’m doing