Journey Beyond Survival

I didn't want to write a post today. I kept trying to think of things to write about. Nothing sounded fun. At all. That is unusual for me. I love to write. I have to write. I would write on my toilet paper before I used it if I had to. Okay, that's just gross. My point is that I haven't had this happen yet. That's 112 posts and I've been excited or anticipatory for each one. Being the über analytic that I am, I began scouring the wrinkles in my brain for a reason. I came up with something even more puzzling. Vague excuses. Now, that made me even hungrier for a reason. Yes, this is the part where we all realize that Hubbend and chiclets should all be nominated for sainthood despite our religion. They put up with it-most of the time-when I do the following to them : I delved deeper. The reason I found wadded up in the corner of my subconscious was deflating. Boring even. I'm tired. I don't want to pursue excellence. I don't want to do my be...

After last week, I'm ready to get back on track. We're traveling to Nawth Cackilacky (North Carolina) for miss THANG's Spring Break. I'm getting ready. I'm ready to get my 20 miles in. I've noticed my back hurting a lot since missing three days in a row. My knees have been hurting too. That hasn't happened in over 6 weeks. Which makes me feel good. So I guess I'm a convert to the steady benefits of exercise. Time to get BACK ON TRACK! How're you doing with your exercise? C'mon I'll be your cheerleader. *photo by Naztrida*

This post is best read with SnapShots at my sight. I promise. Beansprout was pestering yesterday. That is really close to an onomatopoeia . Pester. Pester. Pester. It was a beautiful day. Spring seems to have finally sprung in the northern regions of the hemisphere. It was a perfect day to go outside and just be. Soak up free Vitamin D. Watch the birds. Let Chickadee attempt to eat grass for twenty minutes. Days made for savoring. That was when I realized something. I'm still the mom that wants to sit on the couch. I want to sit on the couch and be "too tired" or "busy" or "occupied with Chickadee". Now, I know that I have been working out a lot. This has been my in-head excuse for not being the NewAndImproved Energizer Mommy. That and we really don't want to swing the pendulum to m anic. Nope, nope nope. I suppose there is the fear mixed with lazy. Sounds like a recipe. Pinch of 'a rutt' and stir with laissez faire. I'...

How do we change? Schedules, habits, addictions, neurosis? I do things be cause of something. Certain things make those triggers faster. TOM for instance makes my fuse short. So do the mental helper meds I'll be taking for the rest of my life. I remember thinking about a month after I started them, 'Did the 7 years of parenting and marriage research and application just go away?' Other things make me more angelic. Running for instance. Showers without interruption. Self care. A funny comedy. What exactly can I do to enhance my perseverance? Chew gum a la Violet Beauregarde ? Perhaps train for the Iditarod. Somehow I don't think so. Perhaps moving Mountains. You know, pebble by pebble. Right? It worked before, hopefully it will work again for the AFTER. So how do you change?