Journey Beyond Survival

So. Moderation. This is going to be harder than I thought. I'm officially off sweets again. At least for a week or so to get myself under control. I didn't crash. I just let it swerve a little. Scared me to death. I know for sure that I have a huge problem if I swear off sweets forever. I know for sure that I have a huge problem eating just a little bit too. I already know I can't live with eating all-I-can-eat sweets, that's why we're here in cyberspace together. Definition of a conundrum, that's what that is. I'm on 'vacation', which means I'm visiting Southern Relatives on a Holiday. There is candy everywhere. Not to mention lunch dessert, snack dessert and dinner dessert. At least we're not the kind of family that deep fries candy bars. There is that. I've kept up on my miles. But today I was hoping to get out and walk just to freshen up my mind and forget about candy for an hour. But TOM cramps-shut up Jack Sh*t this is ...

BLOGGING I've never experienced so many people doing the same thing in the same creative space. It's been inspirational. candle method: write something everyday like this- I AM HERE. nuclear method: blogstalk everyone you can find with a blog while referencing their followers for future use. COMPETITION With myself of course. My favorite kind. candle method: increase speed slowly so I don't notice. brag daily on dailymile-I DID IT! nuclear method: walk/run/crawl/roll 20 miles. yell with caps-BOOYAH!-on dailymile. MORAL OBLIGATION Nothing better than a promise. Especially when it's with God. candle method: start a modest blog with the pledge to blog everyday for accountability nuclear method: completely abstain from the biggest crutch in my scotch taped life in order to 'adopt' Lent. LOVING MY NEIGHBOR IN THE MIRROR Considering she's coming along anyway, I want it to be pleasant. candle method: get enough sleep. compliment once daily in mirror. nucl...

I've gotten to my 20 miles in a week goal. That means that I will easily make my 500 miles in 2010 goal. As long as I don't get injured or something. All I have to get is 10 miles a week and I would have 520 miles. So, the more weeks I get 20 miles the better off I will be. Hooray! My next goal is to be able to run @ 6.0 mph for 30 minutes. If I increase by 0.1 mph every week I should be there in 6 weeks. Anyway, I've been reflecting on how these goals have really helped me complete my exercise goals without any debate in the morning. Even on the weekends or when crazy unpredictable life moments happen. Now, if only I could motivate myself to reach some of my own stronger goals. I do my best when I'm out to beat myself. I get a thrill out of doing better than before. I love to record my stats over a long period of time, and then review them. This is why I love dailymile . It has pretty graphs that track my distance, intensity, speed, etc. It also taunts...

How do we change? Schedules, habits, addictions, neurosis? I do things be cause of something. Certain things make those triggers faster. TOM for instance makes my fuse short. So do the mental helper meds I'll be taking for the rest of my life. I remember thinking about a month after I started them, 'Did the 7 years of parenting and marriage research and application just go away?' Other things make me more angelic. Running for instance. Showers without interruption. Self care. A funny comedy. What exactly can I do to enhance my perseverance? Chew gum a la Violet Beauregarde ? Perhaps train for the Iditarod. Somehow I don't think so. Perhaps moving Mountains. You know, pebble by pebble. Right? It worked before, hopefully it will work again for the AFTER. So how do you change?

In the morning-especially when I'm all sweaty from exercising-it's getting to be really cold. Even last night, I thought "Oh, it's cold in here. I know!" Note, when I have a bright idea it might be time to reevaluate. Especially when hormonally impaired. "Let's just let the oven self clean!" Oh it was warmer all right, until we had to open the doors and windows! Doh! But, to return to this morning, I had all kinds of great intentions. One child had a bed problem in which sleep prevented her from getting out of it and to the toilet. She was shivery cold. Then came the other child who doesn't have 1/10 of an ounce of fat, complaining of the cold blasting in from my exercise area. Brilliant idea #2: hot cereal! Not just any hot cereal. No, it had to be the one cereal that brings back waves of nostalgia. My mother's kitchen, a warm tummy in a cold house, and feeling like things were going to be okay in spite of my attitude. Cream of ...