Journey Beyond Survival

I was driving along, minding my own business yesterday when it hit me.  A beautiful idea out of nowhere that makes so much sense!  Has that ever happened to you? It dovetails beautifully into where I'm going, what I want to do, and how I want to get there.  Why didn't this occur to me earlier? I started thinking about how Mr. Survival came up with what he wanted to do with his life to support his family and hopefully have fun.  I started thinking about how much I had to do with any of those choices. I could have had a lot more say.  But, I chose to trust.  I realized with that lucky wisdom of youth and inexperience that he would know better than I.  We talked out his ideas, and I was pretty honest about what I needed.  But, the decision was up to him. This time I've been motivated by fear.  Everything clenches from my teeth to my hands to my bottom and my toes when I think about running out of money.  That is silly.  We wo...

* uppity date: I am conquering my desire to remain abed and stuff my face with my heritage. Yes, my genes likely gave me bipolar NOS. However, they also gave me the INABILITY to remain abed. So, while I-though I pray not-may stuff my face, I am so fortunate as to be unable to do what I fantasized in the previous post. I'll be back tomorrow. You're not that lucky. Har. Har.* I am so grateful though that I can get out of bed. And have been able to through everything but the first trimester of my pregnancies. It's the worst thing in the world if you can't. *photo by Soo-Sun*

For some reason after Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, I'm feeling a bit deflated. I've been overeating a little bit, not quite drinking as much water, just little things. Nothing is adding up yet. I want to be pumped for the new week. But, compared to last Monday, I'm as flat as a whoopie cushion. But darn it all, I care about my 20 mile goal, and I care about my Sit Down Dinners pledge for the challenge, and maybe most of all I'm committed to my adopted Lenten promise of No Sugar, so I can't get into that much trouble this week. I don't think it's TOM time, and I don't really have S.A.D.D. to blame so much. So, it's just a perturbing day. *photo credit*

Today Beansprout and I went to the local indoor playground while Chickadee and Hubbend were finishing up their test in FarAwayBig City. We'd made these plans before we decided to adopt Lent this year. Beansprout couldn't fathom giving up sugar as Miss THANG and I are doing. So, all on his own Beansprout decided to give up "Egg Yolk and Macdunnels" or Burger King and McDonald's. The only indoor playgrounds are in such places. So we packed Beansprout a cool lunch and set off to meet some friends after Storytime at the Library. He was fine. I'm the one that had troubles. The women are really nice. It would be nice to have some friends outside of therapists doctors and church. And Miss THANG's friends' parents. I like these women. Thing is, they are this and I am that. For the first time in the two years' acquaintance we have had at the library, I got the distinct impression they wanted me to be their type of 'this'. I may be pol...