Journey Beyond Survival

I ate on plan. I took scrupulous care of myself. Which is to say that I did so much better than BEFORE that I don't really care it wasn't quite good enough. Church services were good, they renewed my resolve. I snuggled down in the comforter and watched Hulu. BEFORE I would have soldiered on. My whole family and house would have been sorry. I nursed my cramps that TOM gave me, and cuddled with Beansprout. I put Chickadee to sleep by holding her tight. I fought with my hubbend and family in the morning. I apologized and they let me in again before it set and hardened. Headache notwithstanding, it has been a good day. I'm determined to continue. I will be healthy emotionally, physically, and in my relationship with food.

So, it is Sunday. I am feeling late. I want to share how this blog came about and how I feel about Sunday. I believe in fasting for spiritual benefit. I fast the first Sunday of every month, for around 24 hours. Then, I give the money I've saved on food to my church . It's something we do there. I usually dedicate each fast to some specific problem I'm facing in my life, or in behalf of someone in my life and pray for help. January the third I'd been thinking about my weight, and honestly I'd been trying. I have my calendar to prove it. It has all the days on it that I've run. I look at it sparingly, because it reminds me of all the terrible things that happened last year. When I looked at it on New Year's Eve, I saw all the days of exercise missing. My eyes burned and my tongue lumped in my throat. They were they days that my grandma died, when my 8 month old nephew died, and my other grandma died. They are the days we went to see my father-in-l...