The question is: Do you have your gas mask on? Because if you don't, you want to leave right now. The fumes are going to seep through the interwebs any instant now. Plug your nose!
I felt it coming on yesterday. Yeah. Rumblings and threatenings all around.
Stupid Beast.
So yesterday I ate Leeks, Kale, Swiss Chard, (with onions and garlic and olive oil) But I also ate too too many black beans with tomatoes, raw garlic, raw onion beaten till frothy and creamy and spread on my Wasa. I almost cried at it's similarity in texture to all my beloved toppings of old. But it helped fill the need for a different texture.
To top it all off I ate boiled cabbage. A couple bowlfuls. Yup.
So, I'm sure you can imagine what happened next. Makes me wish I lived with the BFG in his Dreamland and whizpoppers are fabulous, fun and important. Yup. That would be nice. It was the first time Hubbend asked how long I was going to do this diet. Snicker.
I felt like I was torching everyone with my breath when I went to bed, so I used our new Waterpik.
I felt it coming on yesterday. Yeah. Rumblings and threatenings all around.
Stupid Beast.
So yesterday I ate Leeks, Kale, Swiss Chard, (with onions and garlic and olive oil) But I also ate too too many black beans with tomatoes, raw garlic, raw onion beaten till frothy and creamy and spread on my Wasa. I almost cried at it's similarity in texture to all my beloved toppings of old. But it helped fill the need for a different texture.
To top it all off I ate boiled cabbage. A couple bowlfuls. Yup.
I felt like I was torching everyone with my breath when I went to bed, so I used our new Waterpik.
Then I used our Listerine.
Finally I took the time to brush my teeth for two whole minutes.
I washed my face. I let it SINK IN.
Still, when I woke up this morning it didn't matter. I had garlic breath, well garlic mouth really, and I felt stench emanating from every pore. Not to mention the Whizbangs BFG would be proud of.
Good grief.
If you weren't so miserable it would be funny! Next time, try a little Beano or Gas-X. They really do help!
ReplyDeleteSending you hugs... long distance of course!
Did you fart under the covers? Because it stays concentrated until you lift the covers up. And you must lift up covers in timely fashion 'lest the fart aroma burn a hole in your leg. And you don't want that.
ReplyDeleteI love how you tried in every possible way to take the stank out of your system. Might just need a day or two to let the toxic a** clear itself..um naturally of course! Love the photos along with the post, hope you can put your gas mask away.
ReplyDeleteOh wow, now that's an honest blog! Hopefully eating all that stinky stuff will be worth it!
ReplyDeleteLOL! Hubbend and children beware of the stinky mom!
ReplyDeleteHopefully this will kill the bad germs once and for all.