Today Beansprout and I went to the local indoor playground while Chickadee and Hubbend were finishing up their test in FarAwayBig City. We'd made these plans before we decided to adopt Lent this year. Beansprout couldn't fathom giving up sugar as Miss THANG and I are doing. So, all on his own Beansprout decided to give up "Egg Yolk and Macdunnels" or Burger King and McDonald's.
The only indoor playgrounds are in such places. So we packed Beansprout a cool lunch and set off to meet some friends after Storytime at the Library. He was fine. I'm the one that had troubles. The women are really nice. It would be nice to have some friends outside of therapists doctors and church. And Miss THANG's friends' parents. I like these women.
Thing is, they are this and I am that. For the first time in the two years' acquaintance we have had at the library, I got the distinct impression they wanted me to be their type of 'this'. I may be polite, but I have steel bones. Really. I think they're the same kind of people. I like them.
The point is that after spending an hour and a half being unapologetically myself I was stressed out to the max. It wasn't like I was being bombarded. Just subtle things. The kind of stuff that gets to me too easily. I got in the car afterward and promptly ate 640 calories worth of 'healthy snacks'.
Even as I was analyzing it, I ate more. What on earth? Do I just walk out of such situations? Honestly, I know that what people think is too important to me, but 640 calories? That's too expensive. What would you do?
Making new friends is hard. It is great that with all you have on your plate, you are still out being social and meeting new people. Not everyone will be your cup of tea so next time, take less snacks! :)
ReplyDeleteIt is hard to be unapologetically oneself, especially when you sense that others are aware of subtle differences. It's great that you get out and do stuff with other kids and moms. The kids benefit, even if we at times feel we take it on the chin in the process. Fit Mommy had a good suggestion of taking less snacks. Your exercise is good, so the calories likely won't do too much harm. Welcome to the beautiful imperfect human race!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear the interaction was rough on you. I have had the same sort of issues in the past and have gotten up and left because I couldn't deal with the stress. Only problem is I basically stopped trying over the years..I need to get back into the social scene.
ReplyDeleteWait...I am confused. You were stressed because you allowed yourself to be you? Hmmmm...I must be missing something. Did your stress come from their response or from the freedom that you experienced/could have experienced? You know, I'm going to blame my brain fart on it being Friday! Sorry you're having to clarify for me :)
ReplyDeleteHm, I'm with Corletta, but I've had that feeling that after I've been myself, I wonder how I've been received.
ReplyDeleteI always love to quote this to myself when I'm feeling paranoid about what people think: "Be who you are, and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." Gotta love Dr. Suess!
And don't forget--you DO have friends on here...even if we are in the land of far, far away! hehe.
ReplyDelete@ Fit Mommy- That's so obvious it's funny! Thank you. Yes, next time I will definitely take less snacks. :-)
ReplyDelete@ Leslie- I hope that your surgery wasn't cancelled? I haven't been out and about yet in blogland. You are always so thoughtful and gracious. Thank you. I suppose it's because I haven't always been myself.
@ MsMagnetism- Here's to overcoming my people pleasing skills and deflecting the stress of being myself!
@ Corletta- Help me! I know it's not a healthy mental attitude. I was such a people pleaser for the 90% of my life preceding this new resolve to be myself. It makes it hard to not buckle when there is the subtle persuasive element to be different. It was all their response, and this is actually the best I've EVER handled a situation like this in my life. Is that why I ate afterward? Because it was so new?
@ Julie V.- Gotta love Dr. Suess. Yes. I do that. I've just got to get better at this. I am what I am. Thanks for being such a great friend! :D
Every bump helps you know who you are for next time. Isn't the journey of life just learning and growing? Reflect, learn, grow and bring less snacks next time :)
ReplyDeletePS: Thank goodness it takes an extra 3,500 calories to gain a pound of fat! Your lesson wasn't that expensive!
I dont like being put in situations like that either. Yourself from what I have witness is wonderful......you shouldnt stress yourself out for it! Be glad of it!
ReplyDeleteI gave you an award over on my blog
Social can be tough sometimes, when you feel like it is not just flowing, but you are thinking and planning every "spontaneous" comment......dont hang out with those people, unless you know you were having a bad day.....friendship should be casual and easy and spontaneous and most of all...FUN!
ReplyDelete