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Blue Birds Fly

¿Que me ves? / What!?


I was driving along, minding my own business yesterday when it hit me.  A beautiful idea out of nowhere that makes so much sense!  Has that ever happened to you?

It dovetails beautifully into where I'm going, what I want to do, and how I want to get there.  Why didn't this occur to me earlier?

I started thinking about how Mr. Survival came up with what he wanted to do with his life to support his family and hopefully have fun.  I started thinking about how much I had to do with any of those choices.

I could have had a lot more say.  But, I chose to trust.  I realized with that lucky wisdom of youth and inexperience that he would know better than I.  We talked out his ideas, and I was pretty honest about what I needed.  But, the decision was up to him.

This time I've been motivated by fear.  Everything clenches from my teeth to my hands to my bottom and my toes when I think about running out of money.  That is silly.  We would be all right.

We would be all right.

Chickadee isn't going to die.  Nobody is going to die.

I feel exactly like that beautiful but oblivious cow above.  Duh.

And then I felt the rainbow arc above my head.  The cobwebs wiped away and suddenly all the fights to adjust my attitude clicked into place.  I need to trust my husband.  He's doing a great job.

Then, I'm going to look into some school programs.  I'm thinking a masters, whether it be in nursing or in speech pathology, I want NEED a white collar job.  Either of those jobs has a 30 hour full time week and makes enough money to support our family on a 30 hour week.  I can get a degree while Chickadee is in school, and I can stop worrying.

I can actually help.

Duh.

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Comments

  1. Skinny SushiMay 17, 2011 at 3:10 PM

    Isn't it such a relief when you realize it's all going to work out? I can't wait to see what amazing things you get yourself into!

    ReplyDelete
  2. ColleenMay 17, 2011 at 4:05 PM

    I am so truly happy for you. I think I am a few steps behind you at the moment. Still sort of freaking out, knowing that I can do something to help and just not sure what yet. xx

    ReplyDelete
  3. MorganMay 17, 2011 at 4:38 PM

    Wow. That is some realization/revelation. Good for you! I remember believing things would all work out, and feeling like I had a direction. That was nice...

    ReplyDelete
  4. WendyMay 17, 2011 at 5:19 PM

    I am glad that things are falling into place for you. I hate it when I get into those worrying streaks that keep me staring at the ceiling at night. Going back to school was fun, especially once I figured out how to study again!

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousMay 17, 2011 at 5:48 PM

    Yes. Been there. It's a huge decision to go back to school and then to work, but oh! The worry that goes away! The wonderful thought that I can HELP support our family instead of just doing the laundry every day.

    It was worth it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. LaurieMay 17, 2011 at 9:53 PM

    You are a beautiful writer...you think that would make you any money? :)
    My friend is beginning a speech pathologist program, a lot of it is online.
    Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  7. DawnMay 17, 2011 at 9:59 PM

    I love "aha" moments! I think it is a great opportunity for you to focus on something that makes YOU happy and feels good about yourself. I have no doubt that you will be great at anything you set your mind to!

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousMay 18, 2011 at 9:30 AM

    I have been considering going back to school...if I can just figure out what I want to be when I grow up. LOL. You can do it! Yay you!

    ReplyDelete
  9. ThirteenlbsMay 18, 2011 at 12:21 PM

    WHAT A HUGE DECISION AND AN AMAZING ONE!!!!!

    School as a grownup us really awesome. We have that "real- world" perspective. Congrats to you and your family.

    ReplyDelete

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