What does it take to be happy? Even less, what does it take to be satisfied? When is the planned date of satisfaction?
Is it tied to some kind of a size? When the sized twelves are off the shelf is that happiness? Size zero? What happens when healthy doesn't jive with that?
Healthy. It seems that healthy is something that is a treasure worth digging for. But so many aspects of healthy don't seem to come together neatly. Especially when average is not good enough.
There are choices to be made.
Choices have been made. One life cannot possibly accommodate all the achievements to be made. One life cannot possibly be healthy in all ways either.
Think about it. Between deliberate relaxation, intense exercise, work, play, families, blogging, twitter, facebook, church, commenting, homework, and food there are just to many balls to drop. Which are most important?
At what point is pants size no longer a license for self disgust? When does it become okay to exist as is? Does it ever happen?
Clearly, this is something that can only come from within. It is also something that cannot be determined by 'the experts' or even those who have gone before.
There are too many standards to meet.
Does the fitness community back off? Or the Barbie Mommies put judgement in the drawer? Do the Stay-At-Home-Moms embrace the working mother, or the bloggers put away their hit envy?
Not likely to happen. Not at all. Confidence doesn't shop in the same section as bystanders.
On the receiving or defending side of the equation. Everyone else out there cannot even begin to know all the intricacies of why life is difficult or easy for us.
What are your priorities in life, and how do you decide what trumps something else in your life? Or, if it's more interesting to you, what size do YOU decide to be happy?
*Photo Credit
Thank you for donating for Chickadee's service dog.
yesterday morning I was profoundly UNhappy.
ReplyDeleteStressed anxious overwhelmed irritated moody.
I canceled my afternoon.
I unplugged.
I mothered.
I walked painted climbed rocks ate GF pizza played school and I ignored the phone and email.
that caused me to re-find my happy.
Wow - you asked great questions! My priority has always been my kids. And next year my nest empties so... what then?
ReplyDelete"At what point is pants size no longer a license for self disgust?"
ReplyDeleteLove this. Love this post.
You have just been speaking to my heart lately. Is it scary and squishy in there?
ReplyDelete"At what point is pants size no longer a license for self disgust? When does it become okay to exist as is? Does it ever happen?" I have been struggling with this question all week. All my life, really.
"There are too many standards to meet." I went out with some girlfriends last Friday to celebrate a friend's birthday, and stumbled upon what I thought was a harmless topic of church (since we are all LDS, I didn't see the potential for problem here. Ha.) Two of them were VERY opinionated and determined to tell me why I was wrong in the way I was following the rules in my calling, and how I didn't understand since I am a convert. It really bothered me at the time to be singled out. I cannot possibly live up to everyone's standards on how I should be living every aspect of my life. And I shouldn't be concerned with meeting anyone's standards but my own. And yet...
"Everyone else out there cannot even begin to know all the intricacies of why life is difficult or easy for us." Oh, JBS, this one struck my in my soul. I don't even have words for how it speaks to me and wraps itself around my mind. Such truth. Thank you for it.
What a heavy post.
ReplyDeleteMy priorities change from minute to minute. I try to live in the minute and where ever I am, I focus in on that. When home - my priority is my husband. When at work - my priority is blogging. :)
But seriously, I can think of many phases in my life and how my priorities have shifted with age and circumstances. Sometimes the decision comes from responsibilities I carry and sometimes it comes from simple desire. Whatever it is, I truly try to live in the moment.
As for size - I'm not tieing any of my weightloss to a size or even to a weight. If I get to 142, great. If I get to a size 8 or a size 10, great. I am simply after health. Happiness has nothing to do with my journey - happiness is fleeting. Instead, I am seeking contentment. Long lasting and sustainable contentment. And the ability to adapt when my situation changes my level of contentment...
"When does it become okay to exist as is?"
ReplyDeleteThat's what it takes to be happy. It's not a size, not a number on the scale, not the approval in other's eyes. It's being ok 100% with who you are. I think that's where all the happiness comes from.
If you think there was a time in the past you were happy because of this and this, or a time you'll be happy in the future because of this and this, it's not good enough. You have to be happy with where you are in the present, being conscious that you might want to change it, but that working towards that ideal is what makes you fulfilled right now.
It has to feel good to me to be my ok standard! If the pants are not right I know it and ya there even might be a point where some cross to a danger zone and have to be pulled back to a reality, that can be either on the side of size 1 or even for me at least nearing size 14.
ReplyDelete"Clearly, this is something that can only come from within. It is also something that cannot be determined by 'the experts' or even those who have gone before."
You said it the best in the within and I think maybe a a quiet meditation with the one might help put some good definers on there also. Maybe something he might be wanting us to focus on.
Although I am currently running the pant size pyramid (and am guilty as charged) what is more happyfying to me is this:
ReplyDeleteI have discovered that CHANGE is possible.
I never thought I was the type of woman who could so drastically change her life (and her pants size) because I didn't believe in myself. I didn't give myself enough credit to change to the extremes I have. So now, when I think about pant sizes, I don't get happy because they are smaller. I get happy because I am smaller. I have become what I previously thought was impossible.
My butt may be smaller, but my heart has grown enormously. :)
Urgh. Size is like an evil word.
ReplyDeleteI guess I'd be happier if I could get out of plus sizes but I'm not unhappy.
Happy is so different to so many. Every day I swear it's something different to me....and the only thing I really know is I will NEVER stop searching for it. The day I'm not happy is the day I know I settled...and I refuse to do that.
ReplyDeleteOnce I became a mom my priorities became my children, first and foremost!
ReplyDeleteNow that the kids are older, needing us in a different way, ($$$) we have more time for us as a couple and less of it is spent talking about the kids!