I have learned this many times.
There are those who
Act
React
Freeze
Deny
In ancient stories of plunder there is always one of each character. In the moment of crisis there are always some sitting back in the kitchen enjoying their meal, or knitting some baby booties, or pining for their true love. In spite of the various alarms. Some freeze directly under the galloping horse, unable to move out of fright or fear.
The remainder of the stories are split in two. There are those who have a plan and implement it immediately. In fact, they are usually prepared and ahead of the game. Then there are those who would have been useful if they hadn't had to think. When the time for thinking was past, they were caught off guard and had to use valuable time evaluating their options against the challenge.
Let's take United Airlines Flight 93 for instance. Looking solely at the Actors I want to be like, I see some striking things. They had priorities. They called their families. They did not fight the inevitable. When action was called for they DID IT.
Since learning that Hubbend indeed lost his job, that we have until the 31st of October to be somewhere else, and that we may or may not be here in a week, month or year I've done all of those reactions. But there is one which is harming me the most.
Reacting.
The reason this is so terrible, is that my thoughts get the better of me. I think of all that has to be done. I think of my children having to change schools. Possibly more than once this school year. I think of packing, unpacking, storage, insurance, money. Money.
The thing is, that none of this has happened yet. So, not only will it happen once in my imagination but it will happen again in real life. My emotions are virtually the same for both, so in essence I am living it twice.
I don't have that kind of energy.
From now until the end of this month, I hope to Act on my plan. Get up. Exercise. Eat only one helping sitting down at the table with no distractions. Do useful productive things. No sugar, for crying out loud.
Stop thinking. (as much as possible with my brain)
Make Chickadee's princess costume since everything else to do is packed.
Do you ACT
REACT
FREEZE or
DENY?
Do you want to change that?
I do...
ACT (in some realms)
ReplyDeleteFREEEEEEZE (in many).
I need to begin to...to CHOOSE TO act as well.
In all realms.
I'm pretty reactionary. I try to be proactive, but it just doesn't always happen. My adrenaline takes over and I'm a blubbering mess before I know it.
ReplyDeleteI love you.
Well, you could have been describing me here. "...so in essence I am living it twice." I never put that together before. Wow, what a waste of time and energy, and a sure way to dispel any possible happiness in between the stressful things that happen. I'll work on the acting thing too...
ReplyDeleteI typically ACT. But it's been a long process to get there. My thinking is that I can only handle and live in the day that I am in. What is tomorrow, I don't know, so I do what I can in THIS day, since it will actually my tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteI make this day's doing as positive and productive as possible so it has a better impact on tomorrow. Even if I do want to be reactionary and freak out real good. I refrain from it.
Acting involves NOT denying. Act involves remaining calm. Acting means doing all that you can and being at peace with what you CAN'T do - that stuff that is beyond your control.
For me, acting also involves relying on my God (sorry to sound preachy here). What I cannot do, I leave in His hands. I put the burden on Him. Let Him figure it out for me. Because he always does... Always.
I tend to react....hate it. Many days I just want to be out of my own head. I can sooooo relate to going through things twice, once in my head and again in real life. Odd thing is, I'm often wrong. What I anticipate is seldom the same as what actually happens, and many times the imagined is far worse than reality. Somehow, I still do the reacting thing....I want off this stupid merry-go-round. Be strong this month. I know you are, just from the small bit I see on your blog. :)
ReplyDeleteOh this speaks to me today. Just this morning something came up and I could not process it fast enough. Later, I thought about how I just don't handle stuff thrown at me. I need to think and plan and I am not good at spontaneous. I think I was freezing big time!
ReplyDeleteWell, I am going to tell you...I like to deny. It is safe here....on the corner of denial and i have my eyes closed. But I do try to work on it from time to time. For example, I am trying to deal with rejection and my fear of it...and how bc I fear rejections, I deny that I need to make some changes!
ReplyDeleteI pretty much am the same as you. I react. I analyze and think about things wayyy too much at times. I'm not a big fan of Jacob's kindergarten teacher and am always thinking and questioning if he is in the right school.
ReplyDeleteI act. I start cutting the expened out sheet so that the bill is not to killing. I then do as Yum Yucky said along with doing all that I am able. Its happened to many times in my life now but I do remmeber freezing the first time as a young married gal with a lot less chillens to worry over. You will make it there its just a new horizon that the good Lord wants you to see but you have to climb the hill together to see it first.
ReplyDeleteWe had a family rent our basement from us for three years... in the end they became our best friends and we all lived together, one big happy family. He was an architect/drafter and they felt let for him to quit his job and move to our city so he could start Bible school to become a youth pastor. This couple believed firmly in "Where God Guides, He Provides" and we have taken that on in our lives too. We've learned without question that there will always be parenting issues, money issues, health issues, housing issues... and we've faced and are facing a few of these ourselves right now. But believe me, I trust that where God guides, he will provide.
ReplyDeleteHang in there and have a fantastic week!
I have done all of those at one time or another. I am trying harder to ACT. It takes practice, Sigh.
ReplyDeleteCan I make Chickadee's princess outfit? I have time and such.
ReplyDeleteI tend to react, briefly. Then I move into action. Occasionally I freeze. and sometimes I deny. guess I'm a mixed bag! lol but mainly I will briefly react then jump into action.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, when reacting, I imagine all the horrible stuff that hasn't happened. I now affectionately refer to that as the "imaginary horribles"
I like your plan!
One of the seven habits of highly effective people is to be proactive rather than reactive. Would serve us all well!