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Sugar Free

Hem.

After getting that off my chest, it's a little awkward.  Isn't it?

Let's just dive right back into normal life, shall we?  It was hard to eat no glucose, fructose, or corn syrup.  Or cheese or leavened bread.  I ate all my vegetables on Monday, so that Tuesday I had only corn chips, Wasa crackers minus cheese, and some salad. And eggs. (Of which I ate plenty of ALL, so I'm still not dieting according to Greedy Baby #3)  I'm deeming my chicken eggs safe because I get them cage free organic which equals no antibiotics or hormones.  But, as 'starved' as I felt psychologically anytime I felt the automation toward an apple, cheese, or even the s'more's ingredients leftover from the boys' camping over the weekend, I had only to think of my purpose. Oh, and I cheated and ate some roast beef.  It probably was marinated in antibiotics before I bought it, but I was hungy.

Easy peasy.  For now.

I'm going to try to do really really squeaky clean from any easily metabolized sugars for as long as I can.  Oh, as well as avoiding fungus.  Which means no brie.  Boo.  No fruit, no juice, basically nothing prepared.  I could have plain shredded wheat I guess in a week or two, and I'm going to check my bread.

Let's just say, I'm going to take a multivitamin along with purchasing:

  • broccoli
  • celery
  • radishes
  • lots and lots of garlic (which is apparently to be consumed raw as much as possible)
  • onions
  • ginger root
  • cabbage
  • turnips
  • kale
  • dried beans
  • unsweetened soy milk
  • plain soy yogurt with added acidophilus 
  • cauliflower
  • cucumbers
  • peppers
  • edamame 
For now I'm going to go completely without fruit or dairy.  For at least a week or two.  It's basically vegan with a side of celiac.  In order to get enough calories (add them up people, not many) I'm going to be totally fine with my olive oil, and other healthy fats.

The key-it seems-is to fumigate the fungus.  With my own gas.

No, Beano is not an option.  The mere putrescence of own odor will rid myself of this unwelcome guest.  Picture me in future readings with green gas fumes floating about myself and the computer.

It will also rid me of any further human companionship.

So if I seem overly needy . . .

*photo by sandcastlematt*

Comments

  1. **squints**

    is coffee in here?
    may we have our morning cuppa still?!

    ReplyDelete
  2. My husband told me once that he read whatever is in Beano that makes it work also negates the benefits of the fiber in the food! Not sure if that is true or not. Why do so many healthy foods have that nasty little side effect on us?

    ReplyDelete
  3. I with the Miz. Gimme my cuppa. I don't care if it is cheating. Do you think the lack of Beano will force you and that hubbend to separate sleeping areas?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Girl, if that is all you ae going to be allowed to eat you for sure will be dropping some pounds while you battle your beast!

    Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ha - you make me smile. Gas gets me every time. Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Well, between the gas and the garlic, I am thinking it is a wonderful thing that we are all blog friends - no one will be awkwardly avoiding you or making up excuses for why they are wearing a gas mask when visiting with you (didn't you hear about that toxic spill???)

    ReplyDelete
  7. That is quite the list! Gas or no gas you will have some great results I am sure. I am excited to see how it all turns out!

    ReplyDelete
  8. At least you have your sense of humor in all of this!

    I can see making a green smoothie with the kale, and unsweetened soy milk, cucumbers, celery and maybe a little bit of the ginger but it would need a little sweetness from perhaps some Stevia if that is allowed.

    I had some really good garlic edamame in a restaurant over the weekend. Just sauté the edamame in the shell in olive oil and tons of fresh garlic. Very good if you can have things cooked or do they have to be eatin in their raw state?

    Do you have some nice scented candles to burn to counter the side affects? Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I agree with MeltingCandy...You're gonna drop some major weight with the vegan diet. Good luck with that...Can you drink tea with that since coffee is prob a no go? Oh yea, I found you through another blog and wanted to say hi. Your blog seems interesting, so I'm going to follow it :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Wasa...eeewwww ;)

    Hang in there, you can do it! Gas or no gas, love ya anyway :D

    ReplyDelete
  11. So, uh, I see you took that Dieting news I broke to you and shoved it down the crapper. How dare you create a plan with a list of foods instead! How irresponsible of you, minus the "ir" on it. psshaw!

    Oh, and I just farted. So now we're best friends forevah. Kinda like blood brothers. Except it's fart sisters.

    ReplyDelete
  12. What about something like papaya enzyme to help with gas? I hear it works wonders. :3 I dunno what the other ingredients are in the tablets I saw at the store yesterday are, though. Anyway. Sounds challenging, but hopefully it pays off!!

    ReplyDelete

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