I'm a conventional person. I keep rules. I like rules. To pull my kids out of school went against the nap in my fabric. You know, the kind that makes fur and rugs lie in a certain direction.
So when I found myself saying it out loud, making it happen, and enjoying it immensely, I was ecstatic. I was also horrified. Such is my life it seems. I am learning that there is no such thing as all or nothing.
Between perfections is where I lie. I'm not horribly perfect nor am I perfectly horrible. This realization has caused my emotional self to reel for years. Probably since I had that first epiphany about things not exactly being black and white. At fourteen or something.
But, back to the point at hand. I came driving home and musing over the rocky cliffs and rows of huge windmills. The corn and the cows, the city after city of spaghetti bowl traffic. I knew I could conquer this weight thing after all. I would GO. FIGHT. WIN. I was pumped.
I arrived home.
At first everything dovetailed beautifully. Everything went well. My life was bliss.
Then it all hit the fan. Believe me. It really all went to pot. From cloud nine I was left in the proverbial pile of manure. I wanted chocolate. I wanted candy. I wanted to eat my hand off. I did have a small serving of one of Hubbend's [many] gifts:
*best candy ever in the history of the WORLD
Hubbend and I came to our own conclusions. They happened to be the same one! We're going to keep going. We know we can do this.
In spite of the pile of manure.
Living in the gray areas affords us more color than we could ever imagine. And the freedom feels good too! Glad you stepped out of the comfort zone and lived to tell the tale. All is well.
ReplyDeleteI am hoping to hear my phone ring later today. I'll have my cell. Right there next to me.
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ReplyDeleteSad fact of life - shit happens. (There is a very bad pun in there trying to get out!) Hope that life is looking up already:)
ReplyDeleteI was told many years ago that life IS the distractions, interruptions to schedule, etc.
ReplyDeleteIt's our human nature to try to think otherwise, to think we need to wait for nothingness, but that never really happens does it?
I wish I could make it all better. Seriously. You're a strong woman. Stronger than you know. And it's great that you AND your husband are on one accord, going together. That manure can't hold you down.
ReplyDeletehang in there, sending positive thoughts your way!
ReplyDeleteIt's been so long since we've talked :( Sounds like you are continuing to do well! By the way...I have never had that candy....
ReplyDeleteYou can do this!
ReplyDeleteNot living in perfection is huge. I'm trying to get there...boy it's tough.
ReplyDeleteLife is up and down constantly!! You are one determined woman :)
I sit here holding the childs "magical wand" (literally) and poofing it at the screen.
ReplyDeleteCatching up. So I think choclate on almonds is protein. Get some of your own coco power without the sugar and make it defatted. Get that good cold pressed coconut oil and make up a batch of your own bitter chocolate with Stevia in it that will fix the need. I belive in that fix besides its protein. I am not sure why I so need it now when I did not like chocolate growing up or as a teen. There must be some hormone that is lacking and needs it now is all I can figure out. Especially whe there is stress going on around.
ReplyDelete♥
ReplyDeleteThe second picture didn't work, although today's post makes it clear what you're talking about. ^_^