She insisted she was NOT tired. No, she did not want her diaper changed. Even though she kept hitting her diaper over and over again. Finally, I checked her diaper in spite of her insistence.
"It's still dry!" I said surprised. "DUH." said nonverbal Chickadee as plain as day. Then she commenced hitting her diaper again.
I gazed at her dumbfounded. Finally, "Do you want to use the potty?" I asked hesitantly. We've talked of it . . . but I just wasn't ready to commit yet. "YES" she screamed at me with her intense eyes burning through my retinas, brain and skull.
I put her on the potty. She peed. I said, "WOO-HOO!!!" She looked smug, a bit non-plussed.
I've never toilet trained a child like this. She pooped on the potty later that day. Usually it takes weeks if not months for this kind of consistency. The only times she has used her diaper for it's intended purpose have been times that she has been watched by other people that don't know how to read her signals.
She is furious when she messes up. Beats herself up and down. She won't listen to my reasons. She doesn't care that she can't walk there on her own, or talk to let us know she needs to go potty. She expects to get it right, and get it right right now.
Remind you of anyone?
Yep. She gets that from me. Poor thing. I'll be spending a significant amount of time teaching her that it's not all or nothing. It's about the middle because the middle bridges the gap.
Hopefully I will also be learning a thing or two. About persistence, perseverance in the face of insurmountable obstacles, and most of all not giving up.
Even when I've made 1/2 batch of brownies to drown out my stress and eaten the whole thing. Yep. I'm going to stop this all or nothing attitude, one thought at a time.
Do you find yourself in all or nothing attitudes?
I definitely think that way sometimes. Usually I try to workout for an hour every day, and the other day I did 40 min and then had to stop thanks to fatigue and demanding Toddlerette... and for a little bit I beat myself up about it, like if I didn't do a whole hour then suddenly 40min wasn't anything at all.
ReplyDeleteFortunately, I was able to let that go after a little while and realize that ANY exercise is a victory, and 40min is great!
I feel like that all the time too, mostly I think it before I start though and it hinders me achieving as much as I can in the time I have (ie, if I can't achieve a,b & c they what is the point of achieving just a?) I am striving for the middle ground too :) . Wonderful news on the potty training too :)
ReplyDeleteShe is so inspiring!
ReplyDeleteTo be frank, all or nothing has bitten me in the ass so many times I've lost count.
ReplyDeleteI'm 50 years old and just now learning that there does, in fact, need to be a gray area sometimes.
I'm an all or nothing person! I used to get all most of the time. Lately (a couple of years) I'm getting nothings... Mine comes from my mother too. But I never see her get any nothings! I was potty trained by 6 months, using fork & knife by age 2... get the picture? My mom felt like she had no other choice and it comes from her childhood, all the mess the had to get herself out of. But you got more experience than that :) Your little potty champ will find the balance easier than I might ever.
ReplyDeleteyay! Chickadee!!! before I talk "all or nothing", a Chickadee celebration is in order. woohoo!!! yippeeee!! =)
ReplyDeleteokay, soooo. I'm about slow and steady progress. I prefer to tackle (and master) one thing at a time instead of feeling all overwhelmed from the unrealistic stress of imperfection.
For example, my bedroom might be all jacked up like a tornado went thru, but I've mastered my laundry for the week. It's give and take. But next week it might be my room that's tidy, while the laundry is stacked to hell. Nothing will never be perfect anyway. It's day by day. Touch and go. I get better at things as time goes on, but it's still never perfect. Ever. Somedays I completely flop. Eh, so what.
Woo-Hoo score for communication with the eyes and that Chickadee is so good at it. Also that you too are good at it and can read her eyes. Score one for the Chickadee she is going to be so much happier. Nothings going to get her down.
ReplyDeleteI am trying for a little bit of the excersise this morning so I won't stress at the stress spot that I was in on Mon. I need power in my physic today. Who knows who might be the manager on.
Thank you for checking up on me. It meant a lot to me. And now I have so much catching up to do!
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime, grats on the potty training! And wow... I am VERY familiar with the all or nothing mindset! I love those life lessons our little ones teach us. =)
Um ... yeah. I think I might be. Hmmm. Probably explains a lot ...
ReplyDelete*Raises her hand sheepishly*...yup, add me to that club!
ReplyDeleteBut, not to change the subject, but yay for the potty! That is one amazing young lady you have!
(Daniel got the peeing just like that, all the time now...now if we can just get him to tell me he has to poop BEFORE hearing "Gotta flush it!" Sigh.)
all time but i also realize its a pointless stance to take so now days i try to bite back the irritation of shit just not being "all" or "not good enough"
ReplyDeleteYears and years of 'perfect or perfect failure' have worn on me, and I'm trying SO HARD to leave that behind. I just did it, in fact. The scale has been quite disappointing to see this last week, and I've been digging into my chocolate stash much more than is healthy...and I almost just asked hubby to bring home a big Italian dinner to fulfill my 'perfect failure' prophecy for the day. But I stopped. I changed my mind. And it feels good to have not been perfect today, but also to not have been a perfect failure.
ReplyDeleteSounds like great progress!
ReplyDeleteI'm so proud of that girl. And I'm proud of her momma if I haven't made that clear by now.
ReplyDelete