Lately I have been listening to lullabies instead of rocking out during my cardio. I've slowed down my pace, I'm accepting a few big things in my life.
I've had arthritis for a couple of years. I had a surgery at 15 and they told me juvenile arthritis would be on the horizon. It's here. Not terribly, and I know what to do for it. Running just hurts now. So I walk. Pretty fast, but I walk.
Chickadee is finally gaining weight after the new [platinum coated] formula. My back is feeling it. It felt it too lugging her around during the huge back to school shopping we did last week. Chickadee's toddler bed on the floor is killing me. I feel really old.
Instead of fighting it, I've felt calm. I can't change the fact that I have arthritis. Nor can I change Chickadee's Rett Syndrome. But I can manage my attitude. I can problem solve.
Hubbend built me a ramp for Chickadee's wheelchair. That's huge. I've been lifting it in. Sideways. Bad JBS. Very bad. Even though I'm careful, I tighten my abs and use my legs. It's only on one side. Plus I can't do this for forty years. We're moving her to a slightly higher than normal bed so that I can get her in and out, and lie down with her without pain or stress.
So, I would definitely say my spiritual time in the mornings has changed my day. For the better. I'm tired of being angry. Even if it is just at an existential abstract idea that has nothing to do with God or anyone. The anger was bleeding into everything else. My writing too. I'm glad to have another option.
I feel so much better.
You are such a superhero. Good for you for listening to your body and slowing down when you need to. Hugs to you and your sweet Chickadee...
ReplyDeletexo xo
ReplyDeleteChanged my day as well.
the meditation doesnt change things---but it changes me and I change things.
I am so proud of you for listening to the signs your body was giving you and doing what's best for it. I am also happy in my heart that you are finding an inner peace that you really need to have in your life, even more than most. ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteI am always impressed and inspired by what you handle in life on a day to day basis. And you feel calm!
ReplyDelete"...But I can manage my attitude. I can problem solve." I love this. And this positivity can resonates into every area of our lives. Please write a book someday. Maybe, yes? I'll bring a box of tissues and extra room in my heart to learn and grow from your words.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful meditation...hugs to you and Chickadee.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, anger, if left unacknowledged and unexpressed, bleeds into other things. It's okay to feel it. It's necessary.
On a more practical note, here's something I've learned from my kettlebell trainer re lifting anything heavy: stick your booty out, arch your back, and keep your shoulders down and back while squatting down. Don't bend over. Make sense?
You really are one of my inspirations, for listening to your body and adjusting accordingly. I'm always impressed by how much you do and handle and are still positive.
ReplyDeleteThis is so wonderful to hear! I'm so glad you're making changes that are to your benefit.
ReplyDeleteWow...what a hopeful and peaceful post. Good for you. Attitude is such a big factor. You are one strong and amazing woman!
ReplyDeleteBeing angry is exhausting isn't it? Unfortunately most of realize that when we're 80 and it's too late...I'm glad you see it now. And I'm glad you showed me that...I'm just glad I have you period. Your every day battles and wins - inspire me to be a better me...and I'm grateful.
ReplyDeleteMusic can make such a huge difference! Bravo to you for finding a way to cope!
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