This post was inspired by MrsFatass who posted a sweet comment yesterday. Here is the smaller portion that struck me because of where I am:
I am proud of you for sure, but nervous for you because your hands are so full.I decided it's time for another mental health post. I do it about once a week. Just so you can avoid it if you hate the crazy talk. Because I am certifiable. Remember? In fact, I'm certified.
Because we came back a day late I missed my appointment with my psychiatric nurse. I'm just trying to be honest here, this is a huge reason why I write this blog. I needed a place to talk about bipolar NOS.
I need a plan to keep mania at bay. In the next state or country if possible. Hypomania and a mixed state are also about as welcome as a bloated deer waving it's dead feet in the wind of the freeway traffic.
So here is my plan from easiest to hardest:
- Pop all 4 crazy pills EVERY DAY
- write a blog post EVERY DAY
- reschedule with psychiatric nurse
- post in comments when the appointment is (feel free to yell at me in the comments if I haven't posted about it yet)
- be open to sleep aides
- exercise ACCORDING TO PLAN
- maintain healthy schedule including
- cooking real food
- getting out of the house every day
- GOING TO BED EARLY
Hi JBS -
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for the candid post. Dealing with a mental illness is so tough. One thing I've come to know about BPD is that as soon as you start feeling balanced, the disease almost compels you to stop taking meds. I know many folks who struggle with this (through AA), and it's a tough one.
I love Mrs. Fatass' comment because it's so compassionate. You have a tremendous amount of stuff on your plate with family and everyone's needs and uniqueness.
Your plan sounds totally rational and simple. Lots of Good Orderly Direction. And I know you have a strong faith that sustains you. Even that can seem elusive at times.
For my mental health, I attend an AA meeting every day. I haven't had a drink in years, but I've been crazy almost every day my whole life, and AA helps me keep my bubble between the lines! Now make that appointment woman! HUGS!
I'm not even sure what I do on a regular basis. But I can absolutely tell when things are getting out of whack - it shows everywhere, in every facet of my life. If I allow it to get too overwhelming, I generally take "A Mental Health Day." No work, no work at home, absolutely no work at home! Just fun for me - a pedicure, a massage, laying around all day reading trashy novels, eating really, really good food - alternately allowing myself to have a special treat (like cheesecake). Just whatever makes me relax and feel better. Glad to know you're going to do the same in your own way. You can bet we'll call you out about the appointment!
ReplyDeleteWell. Look at you. Look at me in your post. Look at YOU in your post.
ReplyDeleteI love your crazy. (That is very close to a Britney Spears lyric. Do Mormons listen to her? Shall I add that to the letter I'm working on about they day off for a margarita and the lack of jello?)
Anyhow, I'm glad to see lots of stuff about sleep in here. For me, sleep is more important than lots of things to keep my anxiety at bay. My mind races so I can't sleep, I can't sleep so my mind races, goes on for a few days and before I know it TH is making me breathe in and out of a paper bag and I am certain I am having a heart attack.
See. I've got crazy, too.
I have Bi Polar too and besides the medication, i also self medicate with booze. Before i found the right medication for Bi Polar, the booze was the only thing keeping me sane at times, and i hated that. I also blame the BP for me being fat. Because one day i'd feel invincible and feel like i could achieve anything. And the next day i didn't care enough about life to get out of bed, never mind eating right!
ReplyDeleteI wish i knew how to make it go away, with the right balance of medication, but right now i have to say that i don't have any coping statigies. I just take each day as it comes :o/
I am so in awe of you. So honest and raw and brave. I was having a serious motivation challenge, but this fixed it for me. You are dealing with so much, and you're keeping it all together with grace and determination and a PLAN. I love plans. So thank you. You're going to get through this just fine, and so will I.
ReplyDeleteThanks for opening up about mental health. I think a lot of people out there are struggling with it and it's not something anyone likes to talk about.
I didn't know this about you. Already I was impressed with how you handle your life and your family... now I am even more impressed! Hugs.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all...you need to know that you can do this. Take lots of deep breaths. In that time, clear your mind and remind yourself of truth. You are strong, courageous, and DO NOT walk alone. Then...I, personally, like to take baths and spend some quiet time thinking!
ReplyDeleteTuesday the Twentieth @ 9:15 am
ReplyDeleteWhew! Wish it were closer, but we do the best we can. I'll call abt sleep aides when I get back from storytime @ the library. Thanks for all these great ideas.
K I decided that was just silly and I've already called it in. So now I'll just pick it up after storytime!
ReplyDeleteYou are so strong and inspiring and amazing. Love that you're so honest!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you are talking about it! First, it helps you and others know that it isn't something to be ashamed of. Mental health is so dang important but people treat it like a leper.
ReplyDeleteSecond, when I'm having a hard time, I want to stay inside, but I tend to feel better mentally when I get outside. Even if it is a drive, or a walk around the complex, whatever it is, just getting outside helps in my opinion.
I also like doing something that gets my mind off things. Whether reading a book, playing a game, or writing. Just to go into la la land for a bit. (I love reading a book in a hot bath or bubble bath.)
Just my two cents.
Your honesty never ceases to amaze and inspire me. I posted my own mental healthy type post today. I have to be real and willing to abandon what everyone else is doing. That is a hard one for me. My advice...be true to YOU and YOUR needs.
ReplyDeleteI think you have a great plan and I must say I admire your honesty. I wish that when I was raising my kids, I would have had a blog as a way of connecting with others.At times I felt all alone.
ReplyDeleteI know that being a stay at home makes it kind of hard to take a mental health day.It requires planning.
When my kids were young I traded off with another mother and we took turns having a few hours to ourselves every other week. Hubby would take over on a Saturday and I would go out by myself for a couple of hours.
I have to get plenty of sleep, when I don't I start to fall apart. I use guided imagery meditation CD's to help with sleep, confidence, weight loss and keeping a positive attitude. They have worked well for me.
Music can have a powerful impact on my mood as well. Sometimes just listening to the right kind of music can change my attitude and restore my mood.
My kids are in college now but still live at home. Sometimes I have to go for a drive just to have some alone time. Other times I have to go in my bedroom, shut the door and read.
My morning walks alone or with my hubby energize me mentally and physically.
You are simply and incredibly awesome. I'm so glad I found your blog.
ReplyDeleteI don't have much in the way of tips - my mental health is definitely at the bottom of my "to do" list. When I feel like I just can't take it anymore, I need to leave. I just go somewhere where my mind can wander - usually a bookstore. That's about the best i can do these days!