Eat Chocolate
Eat Sugar
Eat
Lie down and cry
Eat
Go to the store and buy junk
to eat
But I decided not to. I wanted to Blog, I wanted to read others' blogs for a lift, I wanted to hop on the treadmill and stay there.
I couldn't.
I had therapists coming, a new wheelchair to fit, and Hubbend leaving again to see his father. I had to reconfirm to myself again that I'd done the right thing coming home. I know I did, but it was a difficult decision. Chickadee is worse, and she needs to be seen by her team. She needs to recover from too much noise and too little space. I need the teams' support. We have to be here. I'm seeing patterns of regression-which is permanent-but hoping it is simply overextension.
But Hubbend needs me too, so it is hard.
The victory on the scale only carried me for an hour. I started cycling through the above phases again. I realized I couldn't keep my pants up. Really. So I thought, why not try on the 'skinny jeans' I bought that were my wake up call. You know, the ones that said, "You thought you were what size?". Yeah. They fit. Woo-Hoo!
But Hubbend needed laundry done and packing done while he was off trying to fit 1 1/2 weeks of catch up and HoweverLongItTakes of task lists dispatched to the workforce. Then he left after only being home 12 hours. I wanted to cry...
Do you know what kept me going? DO YOU?
It was your comments. All day long.
So thanks. Again.
I love the blogworld for precisely this reason as well.
ReplyDeleteSending strength from TX.
Carla
I love the blogworld for precisely this reason as well.
ReplyDeleteSending strength from TX.
Carla
This community has helped me in the same way again and again. Congratulations on those smaller pants fitting! There's a touch of motivation in that as well!
ReplyDeleteI hope Chickadee feels better and settles back in now that she's at home. It's so hard to feel pulled in many directions - the life of a young mom and wife. Hang in there!
JBS, you're doing this. It's not easy, I know. I'm the one that admitted to the blogosphere that I once binged on a can of refried beans. Standing at the kitchen sink. Eating them right out of the can. So believe me when I say I know what a feat it is to fight the urge. I am proud of you for sure, but nervous for you because your hands are so full.
ReplyDeleteYou take care of that chickadee - good for YOU for listening to your intuition on that one. And please let Hubbend know we're as close as the phone. Even if he just wants a break to go get a sandwich or something, Trophy Husband and I can be there in an hour.
Ready for more cards?
You are so amazing. I can't imagine dealing with everything that you do and still making time for my health. You are such an inspiration.
ReplyDeleteThe community out here is amazing! Supportive, motivating. Every day I smile thanks to the great friends I have found out here. You always amaze and inspire me... with all that is going on in your life... your spirit shines through.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on you skinny jeans!
I want to cry for you. (In fact, I am, a little bit.) I want you to have rest and peace and a break. I know it will come, it will. You are amazing for not giving in to any of that (especially whatever is in that photo - it looks scrumptious!) and going for the real reward: skinny jeans. How awesome that the Mrs. is just an hour away and can help your Mister. Just think, you never would have met had you not come here looking for us...
ReplyDeleteSuch a bummer when life rains all over our victories. BIG HUGS.
ReplyDeleteHUGS! I wish I lived closer to give you one in person...
ReplyDeleteYou are an amazing woman.
ReplyDeleteThe challenges that you face are huge and you are dealing with them with grace.
You are in my prayers and I do believe in the power of prayer and positive thoughts.
You did so well! I am so proud of you! Though what you're going through is tough, you prove...day in and day out, to me a trooper! Mama...you are my inspiration to continue this fight with endurance dang it :)
ReplyDeleteYou are so caring and sweet I want to THANK YOU for all your support and encouragement. It makes this bumpy ass road a little smoother and I am grateful for your kindness.
ReplyDeleteIt's so easy to not listen to what your body is telling you and just believe the doctor, or the husband, or the friends. Good for you for listening to yourself and doing something about it!
ReplyDeleteI wish there was something, anything, I could do to help. If there is anything, let me know. In the meantime, just know that we are all here to support you!
Oh, if only we could be in two places at once. You did the right thing, but I know your heart is torn. I'm so stinking proud of you for not turning to food for comfort, because I know I couldn't say the same for myself. That right there should be evidence of how far you have come.
ReplyDeleteSomething tells me you are going to rise above with your head held up high...
You need a clone.
ReplyDeleteI'm sending you lots and lots of hugs. I know you're tired, and torn, and frustrated. But I also know you'll come out on the other side.
I'm also sending you strength and peace!
I'm glad the blogworld is such a support for you! It is for me, too.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry things are so hard right now. You are doing great, though.
Congrats on making good choices and getting into your wake-up jeans.
Hugs. xoxo
You are amazing! We are here for you! Good job, personally I would have so had brought my friend Sara Lee home.
ReplyDeleteYou are awesome!! I'm so proud of you!!! Way to go! :)
ReplyDeletejust stopping by to say thanks for the follow on my blog and good luck on your journey!
ReplyDelete