Today I slept in. Because I haven't in a couple of weeks. No, just kidding. I slept in today because I stayed up late last night trying to catch up. I don't know what I'm trying to catch up to, I just know that I vaguely remember being able to do better. Exhausting right? I read a blog post yesterday that exhausted me because she was expecting way too much of herself in my opinion. I'm afraid I tried to explain that to her, gently of course.
I can be gentle.
What I realized after I posted my comment was that I needed to apply the information to myself. I'm the one trying way too hard to do way too many things. Too fast and too well. I'm sure that it is possible, but it's like running at a marathon winning pace of 12mph for me. I am incapable of succeeding at that. Not exactly rocket science right?
So, sorry dear Sarah. It's not you. It's me tending toward Unattainable Perfectionism. I am being gentler to myself today. I stayed asleep and I don't know if I'm going to get my miles in. My tendency is to expect only the best and any latitude is unacceptable. However, I don't find that helpful right now. Nor do I find it healthy.
This time around has been so interesting to me. I'm careful. Not an obsessive careful. I'm being careful to make sure that all of these new healthy habits are sustainable. My blogging, my exercise, my eating. I need to be able to do these things forever. I'm still out of balance in a lot of ways. But, that's okay. There's a lot more work to do and it seems I have a lot more life to live.
How is this time different for you? Are you gentle with yourself, or do you respond better to firm discipline?
I am definitely WORKING ON begin gentler with myself. Somes days it's hard because the perfectionist in me rises up and takes over. I don't like her, she's fairly critical. At the same time she is the one who snaps me back to when I'm too gentle with myself. It's such a balancing act.
ReplyDeleteThis is definitely an issue for me, and something I deal with constantly. I blog about it a lot, and in the writing, I seem to remember the things I love about myself that aren't perfect, and give myself some loving kindness and credit...but when Im in the moment, look out! :)
ReplyDeleteIts a daily effort, and its one thing I'm going to add to my most recent plan of attack -that I havent even looked at since I wrote it a few days ago. Not sure if thats a good thing (letting go of perfection), or bad thing (letting too many things get in the ways of what I need to do for myself). Either way, its fun and trying, right?
Oh I loved how use said SUSTAINABLITY! That is the key. I don't do anything that I don't think I can do for the long haul. Slow and steady. Food and my brain don't mix too well.
ReplyDeleteI am kind to myself by not giving up and realizing that I will have good days and bad days. That's life. I have also realized that just cause I loose a chunk of weight doesn't mean that life is sunshine and rainbows all the time. You have to roll with the punchs.
It's the journey...good post
I think I deal with myself better when I am firmer with myself. For example, the last 2 weeks (not including this week) I worked out only 5 times and was in a slump. I still ate well, but for me that's not enough. This past Sunday morning I yelled at myself for being so lazy and careless. I told myself that a) I'm not going to lose weight & get healthy by not exercising and b) that that's how I gained my weight in the first place...by being lazy. That extra kick in the pants has given me my determination back. I've done really well the last few days and am so glad to be back to where I want to be.
ReplyDeletehttp://finallygettinghealthyin2010.blogspot.com/
I struggle with being a perfectionist too. I am always telling myself, nobody is perfect and there is no such thing as perfect!
ReplyDelete@Helen- I know what you mean. The side of me that strives for the unattainable so obstinately is the side that gets me lots of great places. But sometimes, I just want her to SHUT UP. I guess those are the times that I should listen. Other times, she is just plain wrong and needs a gag for a few days.
ReplyDelete@Holistic Heath Coach-Tri Mom- Yeah, it is so nice for me to have writing to work through these things with. Before I started this blog things used to just stew in my brain and become poisonous or beneficial. It's a daily effort for me too. I think the balance is the key, and it is sort of fun trying. That is the one point I'm glad I've realized.
@F. McButter Pants- Sustainable is key for me. I can't keep doing this indefinitely if it isn't. ANd I know that I've got stress ahead of me that I might not handle too well. I want to have sustainable habits already in place so that I don't get wrecked again!
@*Mrs. Rohrbaugh*- That side of me is what finally got my butt in gear and on this journey. I'm glad I have that part of me because it keeps me going. However, I can't let that side of me be in control always. She's a little witchy when she drives too long. I'm glad your discipline is working for you. I totally understand.
@KatDoesDiets- Oh me too. *sigh* I knew I liked you. :D
This time around is interesting to me too. I agree with you, I am trying to find a lifestyle that I can live with forever.
ReplyDeleteThis may be my favorite of all your posts so far. I saw my old self in this. In the old days I thought that every meal had to be made from scratch, I always had to have the house spotless and I could never be seen in public without make-up. Letting go of those self-imposed rules was so freeing.
ReplyDeletethanks
ReplyDeleteim still depressed but i just did it anyways
i dont care i just figure its gotta be doen or ill beat myself up even more like i did the last couple days from not doing it
I think we are often too hard on ourselves. That may be why we are where we are in the first place. I am trying to challenge myself, but not in a way that I will be disappointed. I have high expectations,but not unobtainable goals. Sometimes, I fall off plan. I try hard to not kick myself when I'm down, get back up and start anew the next day.
ReplyDeletebarbgetshealthy.blogspot.com
I am with you. I struggle with the gentleness also. I'm learning though. Thank goodness you posted about this and you have received some WONDERFUL comments!!!
ReplyDeleteI just love my bloggin family! :)
I am learning to be gentle with myself and I have given up trying to be perfect.
ReplyDeleteI just do the best I can each day and some days my best is better than other days. I accept that about me now, I didn't use to.
I am not sure what changed, maybe it is being older and wiser. I am learning to treat myself as good as I treat others.
@WaistingTime-It's definitely a different perspective isn't it.
ReplyDelete@karen@fitnessjourney- Wow. What a wonderful compliment. Thank you. It has been so liberating hasn't it? I think my lungs have even expanded!
@BEE- Keep doing it. Don't beat yourself up though. Or I'll come tickle your brain with a feather. You are worth soooo much more than that BEE.
@Barbara- I love your blog.Yes. We are too hard aren't we? I wonder why that is. I've learned to love the new beginning of a new day, hour or minute. Starting over and metamorphosis are the key to my existence.
@Kelly- I'm so glad this path isn't lonely! It's a process, and I'm more in love with it now than I was yesterday! Thanks for being part of it.
@Tami- I too struggle. I am trying to treat myself as well as I treat others. Some days are better than others. But, I keep going after it like my friend Kristina @ Off the Couch. She totally inspired me today!
Good for you for taking care of yourself - you HAVE to!
ReplyDeleteI'm being gentle, because in the past when I was too hard I went off the deep end and ate and gained even more. Now, I know this is a process, and the goal is to change my lifestyle, not just achieve some arbitrary number on the scale.
Usually our bodies tell us to slow down, it is just whether we can fit that into our schedule or not...Oh no.......not slowing down now, I have too many things to do today, unfortunately the body has a way of saying...ok if you dont listen I will make you slow down, I will lower your immune system and see how that grabs you......I try to listen to mine, I missed the fast ride this morning as I did a long hill ride yesterday and my body said "legs too sore today"...lol
ReplyDeleteI've had those nights where I was exhausted but still made myself run on the Wii Fit to hit my 10,000steps a day goal, but lately I haven't been pushing it as much. If I'm exhuasted, I just go to bed. I figure sleep is good for the body too sometimes.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post!! I think once I became a mom, balance was no longer something I did well. Everything has been about my kids for 17 years. Plus I'm a control freak and perfectionist. Eek!! That's a heck of a list. I'm trying not to be so hard on myself, but it doesn't come naturally at all.
ReplyDeleteJust like in my eating, I am striving for moderation. This requires that I be gentle on myself sometimes and a general at other times. Keeping the balance is hard - but it's worth it. I think you're doing great, for what it's worth...
ReplyDelete@Jenn- Oh my dear. You are like balm for my chapped lips. Or my soul. Yes, you are right.
ReplyDelete@Buttsy- You know my body's language well. you must be farther down this line than I am. I think it's mandatory to be able to tell when we need rest and when we need a push.
@Matt- Definitely a balance. I'm proud of you though. You're doing great.
@Lisa- Thank you. I think balance is the key. to motherhood. Good thing we have 20 years or so to work on it before we become the expert. Welcome to the perfectionist club. Or recovering perfectionists.
@My Lipstick Life- I think the world of your opinion. So yeah, that means something. It is really hard to balance. Sometimes I think it's almost possible. Otherdays I see the the truth-that I'll never get there. But, I keep going and I'm farther than I ever thought.