This is what it looks like. Only this little girl was having an EEG. The difference? Twenty-three hours. Chickadee has on a hat a lot more permanent than this. However, Chickadee is only this miserable when trying to go to sleep. Or when they put it on/take it off.
I've really realized that a huge amount of my stress is due to anxiety about being prepared. I worry about making sure we really have an appointment, or getting enough laundry done so that Beansprout can have a couple emergency pairs of pants. I worry about food, about forgetting the components of Chickadees fluids, or about having Miss THANG's ballet stuff clean and packed for her to take to the sitters.
It doesn't help. I still forget things. Several 'crucial' items on my list always get squeezed out. My stress does not seem to be directly related to the tasks or the tests. My stress seems to be about the chaos surrounding the events like this in my life. My stress has the effect of me clamping down to 'control' my environment. I should invest in a warning sign. DANGER: Beast unleashed. I go completely beserk trying to clean my house, do laundry, grocery shop, and pack in an elaborate synchronized dance. I always end up in a heap, and yet I try try again.
I just wanted to say thanks for the thoughts, prayers and support. In part because of several comments, I am going to try to shift the focus of this chaos anxiety to being a beast about my exercise and diet.
I've been okay here. Most of the problem was simply in getting here and thinking about it too much. What reaction to stress do you feel proudest of?
I hope everything goes as smoothly as possible.
ReplyDeleteMy best reaction to stress: When I'm stressed and can calm down for five seconds which is long enough to have this thought...if I forget to do xyz, how big of a deal will it be 3 days from now, 30 days from now? 5 years from now? 9 times out of 10, it won't be a big deal. Realizing that helps me calm down and do the best I can.
Stress can get the best of me and all the sudden I realize I've got my head leaned back pouring chip crumbs out of the bag into my mouth. My good moments are when I recognize I'm stressed and step outside to play with the dog for a minute instead of turning to food for relief.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you are feeling "mentally" and "emotionally" better. Stress can be such a destroyer of our minds cant it?
ReplyDeleteThis is going to sound insane, but my good moment in dealing with stress was when I overheard my son (19 at the time) telling a friend on the phone that his girlfriend was pregnant (NEWS to me....and I hadnt even met the girl yet)...I didnt blow my top, I kept my cool and we talked things out and I was there for him (turned out she wasnt pregnant and she was the WORST thing that could have ever happened to him...the start of our 2 year journey to get our sons life back together....in part, thanks to her)...still keeping you in my prayers!!! And little Chickadee (broke my heart when I saw that pic above).....
The picture of your Chickadee is heartbreakingly sweet. What an ordeal for a little girl and her Mommy! What a precious little face.
ReplyDeleteYour observation of your tendency to get caught up in "preparedness" sounds like our eternal striving and need for control over things that may or not be controllable. I have struggled with this a lot over the years. An AA sponsor pointed out to me one day that any sense of control I perceived I had over life was mostly an illusion. It's gotten better for me. I do what I can about things I do have control (like laundry, food prep, keeping the chaos at a low murmur) and then fasten my seatbelt for all the things that happen anyway. Somedays I do it well and go with the flow. Other days, not so much.
Having 3 young kids will always bring surprises and snags and joys. I remember having 3 kids in 4 1/2 years and feeling like I was always digging out from something! Hang in there. Investing some of the stress energy into exercise sounds like a fantastic plan!
For me, I know that I am stressed when I begin to think about all that has to get done. I have a crazy busy schedule, but know that stressing about it won't get a thing done. So...I pray, read Scripture, talk to my positive friends, and workout! All of this really does keep me from having a melt down. I will be honest and tell you though, I have had some melt downs. That's life though.
ReplyDeleteI've been reading a book called "Homeschooling with a Quiet and Meek Spirit".
ReplyDeleteI need this soooo much! I get *so* stressed at times that I think I must seem like a monster to my family.
You sound like you are going through a lot and I can only imagine your stress levels. I hope you can find a solution to ending or at least lessening your stress.
When I remember to use them, I have lists that I save on my computer and I print them out and then check things off (like my packing list). I always wonder why I don't remember them more when they help me so much.
Oh yeah...I know why. When I get stressed, I tend to forget things, lol.
i have bad anxiety too
ReplyDeleteespecially about packing things making sure you have the right things its crazy
but i have the same problem
you arent alone
ive learned not to think baout it till right before you have to go or do something
and just keep breathing
i was on medication for years but really it didnt help as much as not worrying till last minute and then rememebering to breath at that last minute
Hope all goes well with chickadee. Stress - don't you love it, somehow you are like me trying to do it all. I know as much as I hate to say it I find that exercise is my stress reliever ! I am in your corner cheering for you. Martine
ReplyDeleteHope everything is going ok! She is adorable..
ReplyDeleteStress is terrible! I clean when I am stressed!