How do we change?
Schedules, habits, addictions, neurosis?
I do things because of something. Certain things make those triggers faster. TOM for instance makes my fuse short. So do the mental helper meds I'll be taking for the rest of my life. I remember thinking about a month after I started them, 'Did the 7 years of parenting and marriage research and application just go away?'
Other things make me more angelic. Running for instance. Showers without interruption. Self care. A funny comedy.
What exactly can I do to enhance my perseverance? Chew gum a la Violet Beauregarde? Perhaps train for the Iditarod. Somehow I don't think so.
Perhaps moving Mountains. You know, pebble by pebble. Right? It worked before, hopefully it will work again for the AFTER.
So how do you change?
TOM makes me crazy too
ReplyDeletei spent 2 hours last night crying over nothing lol
hate it!!!!!!!
I don't know how you change, but I know that I am. It's a good feeling.
ReplyDeleteChange comes much easier once a person is truly ready. All my failed attempts at change have been because I wasn't ready to give up whatever part of a bad habit was "working for me."
ReplyDeleteTruly change? I'll get back to you when I figure that one out :)
ReplyDeleteHmmm...I think I change when I focus all my attention on something, you know? Like with weight loss - I am borderline obsessed this time around, and I KNOW I'm changing. I think, for me, that is the key. Once I complete the change and it becomes part of me, then I can move on to the next one!
ReplyDelete@BEE- I read on your that working out helped you. I hope tonight is better. We should really renegotiate that contract TOM has. ;)
ReplyDelete@KatDoesDiets- I'm glad you are. Knowing I'm changing has a momentum for me. One that keeps going in the face of obstacles because it isn't worth it to lose what I'm becoming.
@Fit Mommy- Wow. That is what I needed to hear. I'm really analyzing this time. I DON'T want to come back to visit where I am [have been] when I'm finished. I plan on maintaining with occasional difficulty. Thanks for breaking it down so well.
@Lisa "One Mom's Weight Loss"- I think cleaning out your pantry on the prowl for things healthy might qualify, chica! Good job.
@Jenn- I think that is what I do too. I like to really normalize all my healthy behaviors and then kick it up a notch. 'Corse it really helps if I'm plateaued too. ;) You are doing fabulous.
When I figure out how to get the change I'm looking for, I'll let you know - promise.
ReplyDeleteBoy! I have struggled with this as a person and as a therapist. As if figuring out how to change isn't hard enough, I chose a profession that attempts to help others heal/change. What I have learned is that change has to happen from within. Cognitions must first change and then behaviors will follow. Change occurs in individuals that want it. For me, I had to come to the realization that I was self sabotaging because I really feared change. So..I would pretend to want it only enough to produce small alterations rather than transformations. Hope this helps!
ReplyDelete@Helen- Shall I save tomorrow's post for you, or shall I invest in a safety deposit box? ;)
ReplyDelete@Corletta- Cognition is good. Change comes for me somewhere between cognition and action. When the sabotage is more costly than the unknown changes. I don't know. You always help!
WOW!!!!!! All I can think to say is wow!!!! I am new to your blog and read through it from the beginning and let me say I am in awe of you and your strength. If you ever doubt yourself or your ability to accomplish something you should sit down and reread your blog. You are an amazing mom and person. I am inspired by how hard you are fighting life. The scale has nothing on you! Stay strong and focused and you will make it through to becoming who you want to be.
ReplyDeleteAs for change, I think that comes when we are ready for it. When we have worked through our issues within ourselves that hold us back from being truly happy with who we are no matter what size. Our weight is not what makes us happy or not it is just a biproduct. You have so much going on around you and so much stress that you put on yourself that you will find that change you want when you let yourself feel the change in your heart. You are amazing and can do ANYTHING you want to do and be who you want to be! Stay strong and give yourself some credit!
Positive self-talk! Just the way team mates encourage each other by yelling, 'you can do it!'along the sidelines! If I encourage myself, I build myself up, and when I tell myself the opposite, that's what I can count on,too.
ReplyDelete"Whether you tell yourself you can do it, or tell yourself you can't, either way, you're right."
It's all about believing in myself. One step at a time, one day at a time, believe I can change, and I do.
@LOR- You may have made my week. Or my month. thank you! I'm working on the giving myself credit. It's improving. And it's helping me to be able to achieve my goals. You are so positive. I think I'll be stopping by for a dose of the (+) energy.
ReplyDelete@Jackie Callahan- You are right! That is what gets me past my 'triggers'. The ones that happen in a split second and can't be changed. Belief is exactly what I need. Thank you.